Sexual issues & Concerns
Talking about sex is difficult, let alone navigating it.
You want a better sex life. Right now, stress and anxiety surround these conversations, even to the point that you may avoid them altogether. You’d like to be able to communicate your desires and fantasies unapologetically; to find ways for you and your partner to please each other, without stress and worry about performance or body image.
When sex isn’t going smoothly, it can feel personal, like there’s something wrong with you or your partner. Yet, it’s rarely personal. You may be personally impacted, even in a big way, but it’s rarely personal. Sexual functioning is complex, with physical, mental, emotional, and social components. For some issues, you may just need education and information about sexual functioning to resolve your difficulties. For many concerns, we dive deeper into messages around sex and sexuality that you learned growing up, or how relationship dynamics or aspects of life history are impacting your sexual functioning (see Relationship Therapy page for more information on how I support the emotional health of a relationship).
Sex therapy is similar to other types of talk therapy, it’s just that the focus is on sexual health and functioning (so, no, there is never any touching or crossing of professional boundaries with your therapist: we talk in session, you implement practices by yourself or with your partner(s) outside of session, and then we talk further in the next session to review and identify next steps).
In the therapy world, I’m what we refer to as ‘sex positive’. What does that mean? Being sex positive means that sex is viewed as a healthy, normal part of being human. In other words, this is a shame-free zone. Society tends to make sex and sexuality a taboo topic, to everyone’s detriment.
Sex therapy is a unique opportunity to talk openly (at your own pace!) about this important facet of your life, with a judgment-free stance of curiosity, openness, respect, and understanding.
Being sex positive also means encouraging people to have a voice and choice, not simply expressing your sexuality differently for the sake of doing so or to please your partner at your expense. In other words, I will never encourage you to do anything with your partner that you, yourself, don’t want to do – you decide your goals, preferences, values, likes and dislikes. And if you’re engaged in an out-of-control sexual behavior that you find distressing, then we’ll talk about the impact and develop a plan to minimize or eliminate that impact, if that is what you desire.
Being sex positive means that I will never ‘yuck your yum’ - so long as it’s consensual (between people who are able to consent), then your sexual fantasies and practices will be honored and validated, without judgment. So, your kink, fetish or BDSM practices are valid here; your vanilla (or non-kinky) sex is valid too. Your queer relationship is valid; your heterosexual relationship is valid too. Your trans and non-binary gender identities and expressions are valid here; your cisgender identity and expression are valid as well. Your consensual non-monogamous (CNM)/polyamorous relationships are valid; your monogamous relationship is valid too. All are affirmed and welcome.
For most people, sex and sexuality are very private and personal areas of life. I honor that, helping folks feel comfortable talking about sex so they can enhance this important area of their life.
Areas of focus
• Sexual intimacy
• Desire discrepancy (mismatched desire)
• Erectile Dysfunction
• Premature Ejaculation
• Delayed Ejaculation
• Infidelity and affair recovery
• How to express your wants and desires unapologetically, without shame
• How to say ‘no’ without guilt or your partner feeling undesired
• LGBTQ+ relationships
• Kink, fetish & BDSM
• Consensual non-monogamy/polyamory
Session length & total amount
• Initial session = 75 minutes ($250)
• Subsequent sessions = 75 minutes ($190)
Please cancel or reschedule at least 48 hours in advance. This is requested because a time commitment is made to you and is held exclusively for you. If cancellation or rescheduling occurs within 48 hours of the scheduled start time of your session, you are responsible for the full session fee.
When is sex therapy not appropriate?
• When there is danger of intimate partner violence (IPV)
• When there is an active, ongoing affair
• When one partner is pressuring another partner to participate
How do we get started?
It all begins with a free, 20-minute phone consultation to see if working together is a good fit. If it is a good fit, I'll get you scheduled as soon as possible so you can get started. You may wish to review the FAQs before our call. If you're ready, click Get Started to schedule your initial phone consultation.