It's all about connection...

                    Life is about how we connect with ourselves, with other people, and with the world around us.

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I've experienced seasons of life surrounded by friends, yet felt isolated. I have been in stable relationships, yet struggled to let my protective walls down enough to love, or be loved, as my true self. I've felt alienated from who I am because I could not connect with my own feelings, needs, beliefs, and values.

 

All humans experience these stuck spots at some point; we also have the capacity to get unstuck. It's this inherent capacity that drives my work with intimate partner relationships. 

 

                   My mission is to help couples and polycules reclaim their capacity for joy, pleasure, and connection.

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During conflict, people often get critical, defensive, or “shut down”. This often frustrates the listener who then, in turn, can get critical, defensive, or shut down. That back-and-forth is exhausting, and isolating. During the course of our work, you'll each learn how to slow down, to express yourself more clearly, and to hear your partner more clearly. That results in mutual understanding, from which empathy, goodwill, and collaboration emerges. That ability to identify your feelings and needs -- and to convey them to your partner -- applies to both emotional connection and to sexual intimacy. It is immensely rewarding to help partners re-connect, enhance their sexual intimacy, and create a sense of shared meaning. 

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We're hard-wired to connect with people. But it's not easy! We have to learn how to do that well. No one is born socially adept. As I mentioned above, I've struggled with my own relationships in uncomfortable and sometimes painful ways. To be clear, we each face different obstacles to a vibrant intimate partnership, such as the following:

 

• How we were raised;

• Major life events, including trauma;

• Prior adult relationships;

• Physical, emotional, and mental health and wellbeing;

• Living in a society that dehumanizes and marginalizes certain groups of people based on their race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, relationship structure, socio-economic status, neurodivergence, religion, abilities, and so forth, which results in chronic stress as well as internalized messages that come from the media, school, workplaces, the healthcare system, and day-to-day encounters.

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These, among other factors, impact the way we see ourselves, other people, relationships, and the world at large. In our work together, we'll hold an awareness of these factors. We'll also hold an awareness of your innate worth and value. We don't want to fundamentally change who you are; instead, we want to increase your capacity to communicate with more ease so you can feel closer and more connected.

 

Personally, I'm invigorated by learning how to continuously improve the connections in my life and in my community. So it's a special joy for me to help others in their journey. When I'm not in the office, I spend time with my partner of 13 years, family, and friends; engage in community-oriented initiatives and projects; as well as garden, play Sudoku, engage in movement and breathing practices, cook (mostly Indian food lately), improvise on the piano, and (re)fill our hummingbird feeders --- they're so precious! 

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The most important part of therapy is the relationship between you and your therapist—the “therapeutic alliance.” What can you expect when working with me? I am committed to bringing empathy, compassion, and focus to each and every session. I use various time-tested models of therapy, which allows me to personalize your care based on your background and goals. You are invited, but not pressured, to process how your various identities -- like race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, religion, and so forth -- impact the way you experience the world, your relationships, as well as the therapy process itself. I encourage you to explore my website to learn more about the services I offer. If you want to learn more about my professional credentials, educational background, and so forth, you can find that information below. 

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I regret that I currently have a waiting list. I intentionally maintain a small practice to give each person I see more of my time, energy, and attention than I could otherwise. If you feel like I'm the right person for you, text or call (864) 319-3360 to schedule a free, 20-minute phone consultation to get on the waiting list so we can get you started as soon as a spot is available (the wait is usually 1 month from the time of our phone consult to our initial session). 

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I look forward to meeting you and discovering how our work together can deepen the connections in your life.

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- MB Tabor (she/her)