Discernment counseling

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Should I Stay or Should I Go? 

If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, you are in a tough spot. Discernment Counseling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slowdown, take a breath, and look at your options for your marriage.

Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help, while the other person is interested in rebuilding the marriage (or "leaning in"). 

In Discernment Counseling, I will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.

The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction for your marriage that's based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.

The goal is not to solve your marital problems. The goal is to see if they are solvable. Regardless of how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment, you will each be treated with compassion and respect----no 'bad guys' and 'good guys'.

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You will come in as a couple; however, the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations that take place during each session. Why? Because you are each starting out in different places.

During our work together, I will respect your reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.

As a certified discernment counselor, I will emphasize the importance of seeing how you have each contributed to the problems in the relationship in unique ways and how you can each contribute to possible solutions. This deeper understanding will be invaluable in future relationships (if this one ends) or in your current relationship (if you decide to rebuild your marriage).

Number of Sessions:

• A maximum of 5 sessions

Session Lengths & Rates:

• Initial session = 2 hours ($300)

• Subsequent sessions = 90 minutes ($230)

When is Discernment Counseling not appropriate?

• When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce

• When one spouse is coercing the other to participate
• When there is danger of domestic violence

How do we get started?

It all begins with a free, 20-minute phone consultation to see if working together is a good fit (*please note: each partner will need to schedule and complete a separate phone consultation). If it's not a good fit, I'll support you in finding the right person for you. If it is a good fit, I'll get you scheduled as soon as possible so you can get started. Click Get Started to schedule your initial phone consultation.