hopeful spouse counseling

Image by Pablo Heimplatz

Trying to save your marriage?

You want to save your marriage, but your spouse talks about divorce. Your spouse won't do couples therapy or get outside help, so you're at a loss. It's scary, confusing, and overwhelming - the most distressing time of your life. Hopeful Spouse Counseling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slowdown, take a breath, and get practical tips to try to save your marriage.

Let's be honest, since your spouse mentioned the 'D' word----divorce----your attempts to save your marriage haven't worked. That's not your fault. You're so overwhelmed and desperate to save your marriage that it's hard to think clearly. If you are like most people in this situation, your well-intentioned attempts are actually pushing your spouse away. 

Hopeful Spouse Counseling is a new way of helping individuals where one person----you----is interested in rebuilding the marriage (or "leaning in"), while the other person----your spouse----is “leaning out” of the relationship and not willing to try Discernment Counseling. If your spouse is willing to participate in Discernment Counseling, that is the preferred option. If not, I'm here for you.  

In Hopeful Spouse Counseling, I will support your desire to save your marriage by helping you learn from your situation, so you can bring your best self to this crisis. By doing so, you can then engage in healthy, constructive ways to prevent a divorce and restore your marriage to health, if that is possible. Success is not guaranteed; however, if you bring your worst self (as many do), failure is all but guaranteed. The goal is to give you every chance possible to save your marriage.


This requires immediate action, including a shift in your perspective and how you act towards your spouse. Regardless of what you or your spouse did (or did not do) in the past, you will be treated with compassion and respect----no 'bad guys' and 'good guys'. Just proactive change. 

Hopeful Spouse Counseling is short-term and focused.


Whereas therapy might be long-term, our goal is not to solve your marital problems or your personal problems. The goal is to help you make immediate changes in how you relate to your spouse, so you can open up the possibility of getting help together. To that end, we don't delve into every aspect of your life, and the focus is not to provide emotional support for you to get through the week. If that is desired, I can refer you to someone for individual therapy. But right now, your marriage is in crisis, and Hopeful Spouse Counseling is your emergency room. 

Number of Sessions:

• A maximum of 5 counseling sessions (75 minutes each).

When is Hopeful Spouse Counseling not appropriate?

• When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce

• When the "leaning out" spouse is willing to participate in Discernment Counseling

• When your goal is primarily to get emotional support to get through the week
• When there is danger of domestic violence

How do we get started?

It all begins with a free, 20-minute phone consultation to see if working together is a good fit. If it's a good fit, we'll schedule our first session and get you started as soon as possible. If it's not a good fit, I'll make sure to point you in the right direction. Click Get Started to schedule your initial phone consultation.